The Word of God is clear-cut; we BELIEVERS - Children of Light/Good Seed; the DISCIPLES/followers of Christ [John 12:36, 1 Thessalonians 5:5, Ephesians 5:8] are distinct (separate) from the NON-BELIEVERS - Children of darkness/weeds (father the devil), who are NOT Disciples of Christ [John 8:44, Acts 13:10].

In-fact, a NON-BELIEVER does not ACKNOWLEDGE the Existence of Jesus Christ as the Messiah, and castoffs His Authority and Power as the Lord, Saviour and King of ALL MANKIND. They always worship other god(s) other than YAHWEH through Christ [John 3:1-21, Philippians 2:9-11]. While the BELIEVER confesses Christ (existence), accepts His Lordship (Authority) and demonstrates through obedience His Kingship (Power) [1 John 4:13-16]. Hence it is Written in 2 Corinthians 6:14-16

Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership can righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship can light have ith darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and Belial (Satan)? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said:

“I will dwell among them and walk among them;

And I will be their God, and they shall be My people.

This demonstrates an evident call for SPIRITUAL SEPARATION from those who are “led by demonic powers” Satan as their Master VS “being Led and Transformed by the Holy Spirit” Christ as their MASTER. We see this demonstrated in 1 Corinthians 10:21 and it cautions us You cannot drink [both] the Lord’s cup and the cup of demons. You cannot share in both the Lord’s table and the table of demons [thereby becoming partners with them]. We can plainly see the distinction no one can serve two masters? [Matthew 6:24, 1 Kings 18:21] and as 2 Corinthians 6:17-18 states …so this is what the Lord says

“So come out from among unbelievers and be separate,”

“And do not touch what is unclean;

And I will graciously receive you and welcome you [with favor],

And I will be a Father to you,

And you will be My sons and daughters,”

Says the Lord Almighty.

Now, often this scripture is applied when choosing a marriage partner, it gives BOUNDARIES and CONFINEMENTS on the type of a person, one who is believer should consider to be YOKED WITH [Psalm 16:6-8]. The Covenant of Marriage as designed by God is vital in that Children of God’s Kingdom CANNOT afford to be YOKED WITH Children of the devil’s Kingdom (worshippers of other gods outside of Christ). God designed Marriage to be a COVENANT initiated under same Authority & Power (One Faith-Jesus Christ), to function on same Morals Ethics, Values and Virtues (Holy Spirit +Word of God) and pull together to the same Direction (Kingdom Purposes). We can have friends, acquaintances and even family members who are not followers of Christ; worshipers of idols, pagans and atheists. But when it comes “to enacting a covenant” even the occultic apply the same principles; same authority & power, adhere to same belief system (sacrifices and instructions) and strive to achieve a common goal (wealth, fame, success, materialism).

Children of God cannot mix with Children of the devil! Moreover, when it comes to marital settlement they are inherently incompatible as this will lead to spiritual compromise [Genesis 6:1-6]. This analogy is well illustrated through Solomon in 1 Kings 11:1-12 … from the very nations of whom the Lord said to the Israelites, “You shall not associate with them, nor shall they associate with you, for the result will be that they will turn away your hearts to follow their gods.” Yet Solomon clung to them in love, results of this were disastrous plunging Israel into IDOLATRY!!! [1 Kings 11-13].

So, the First call for a disciple of Christ seeking Marriage IN-Christ is the call of Spiritual Separation from one who worships another god(s) [Exodus 20:3-6], other than the One True God - Yahweh through Jesus Christ [Genesis 2:4, John 3:16, Hebrews 1]. After this, the believer must go further, pressing in, to DISCERN if he/she is aligned by purpose for God with the intended partner. This is known as the call for SPIRITUAL ALIGNMENT.

‘Spiritual alignment is a higher purpose backed with a strong sense of conviction and clarity concerning a high purpose outside of SELF. It begins with a harmonious relationship (communion with God) between an individual's spirit configuring into the Will of God as revealed through Scripture. This encompasses aligning one's thoughts, actions, and desires with God's purposes and commands, seeking to live a life that reflects His character and glory.’ [Matthew 26:39]

When God the FOUNDER (originator, initiator, inventor, creator, designer) of Marriage institution ordained the First Union (merge, blending, combining, unification) and Covenant (pledge, promise) in the Garden of Eden. He gave THEM

a mandate to fulfil in Genesis 1:27-28

So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them. And God blessed them [granting them certain authority] and said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subjugate it [putting it under your power]; and rule over (dominate) the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and every living thing that moves upon the earth.”

under the One flesh in Genesis 2:18-25

…And the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made (fashioned, formed) into a woman, and He brought her and presented her to the man. Then Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed or embarrassed.

But we know that in Genesis 3, SIN introduced MISALIGNMENT between husband and wife. The “AWARENESS” caused the heart of mankind to be hardened, becoming a source of Marital discord and strife [Genesis 3:7; 27].

That is why when Jesus was challenged about Divorce, He states in Matthew 19:3-9

He replied, “Have you never read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined inseparably to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” …He said to them, “Because your hearts were hard and stubborn Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.

The key statement is TWO (HUSBAND +WIFE) JOINING TO BECOME ONE FLESH. Which draws us back to Adams prophetic declaration in the presence of God “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”. She is ONE with Adam, THEM operating as a single unit. This is termed as UNITY. Husband and Wife are called to operate in ONE ACCORD; “acting single-mindedly, unanimously, in harmony, united, and without dissent.”

The Marriage Covenant was designed by God to function with ONENESS of the Heart and Mind of BOTH Husband and Wife. The MUTUAL COOPERATION and COHESION is expressed as UNANIMITY in DESIRING, THINKING and EXECUTION. For this to be ‘produced’ both Husband and Wife joined as One Flesh MUST be Aligned with their divine purpose. This refers to MUTUAL SUBMISSION under the GOVERNANCE of Christ, SAME AUTHORITY and POWER actively and intentionally choosing to serve one another over self-interest and selfish ambitions [Ephesians 4:1-6; 5:21, Philippians 2:2-4, Colossians 3:12-19]. This approach creates a harmonious relationship between husband and Wife, where their thoughts, actions and desires are synchronized with God’s intentions and purpose concerning the Marriage [Genesis 1:28]. In that way, reflecting God’s righteous Character and Glory …revealing Jesus Christ to the World [Genesis 1:26 Matthew 5:48, Romans 8:29].

Subsequently, if TWO BELIEVERS (male + female) under One Faith (UNITED IN-CHRIST) with a Kingdom mindset decide to covenant in Marriage they MUST Examine and Discern with Wisdom from Above that they…

• BOTH want similar things in life (plans)?
• BOTH aspire similar outcomes in life (results)?
• BOTH have a similar vantage point of life (outlook/vision)?
• BOTH possess a similar interpretation of life (knowledge & understanding)?
• BOTH are going the same way in life (path/direction)?

Now, the above does not have to be similar with “precision” but should be closely related or linked in one way or another, finding a point of convergence within. Consequently, these questions have to do with details of your own life. For example: who are you, what do you want to achieve/attain-what is your purpose, do you have the blueprint-what is your plan, do you have insight of what it takes – what is your means and do you have an established route- what is the outline. So that the TWO can do the Will of God as revealed through Scripture and led by the Holy Spirit. And for this to occur there must be SPIRITUAL ALIGNMENT.

However, many believers have made great mistake of not understanding that when it comes to the Covenant of Marriage two believers can be completely DIFFERENT and MISALIGNED in who they are (IDENTITY) and fulfilling God’s Will (PURPOSE) in their lives that the ONLY thing unifying them is “Christianity/doctrines of Faith and attraction”. A Husband and Wife can be UNEQUALLY YOKED even with the practice of the Same Faith in this case Christians. This can happen if either of them is an IMMATURE BELIEVER; positionally IN-Christ [saved] yet NO ONGOING SANCTIFICATION (not submitted and surrendered to the work of Holy Spirit to purify and refine them DAILY) [Philippians 2:11-13]. The indicators of these are…

• Highly dominated by the Passions and Desires of their Flesh (CARNAL MINDED) [Romans 8:6-10, Galatians 5:19-21].
• Worshippers of Mammon they are followers of Christ YET they love money more hence their decisions are heavily motivated by it [Matthew 6:23-25].
• Easily swayed by the Patterns of the World thereby yields to its pressures and values [1 John 2:16, 1 Corinthians 3:1-3].
• Pursuit of their Own Ambitions (Status, Fame, Possessions & Success) rather than be a Seeker of God’s Kingdom and its Agenda. [Philippians 2:2-4].
• Lacks enthusiasm (passion/interest) towards life IN-Christ due to its challenges (obstacles and difficulties) i.e. social factors, emotional factors, health and mental well-being factors [Romans 12:10-12].
• Lacks identity IN-Christ thereby affecting their Purpose in God’s Agenda for His Kingdom [Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:10, Proverbs 19:21].
• Under the operation of Familiar spirits this affects how they interpret the Ways of God [Deuteronomy 18:9-14, Isaiah 8:19].

The above aspects are what is metaphorically comparable; a cautionary given to the Children of Isreal in Deuteronomy 22:10. This analogy is well illustrated through God’s Laws in Deuteronomy 22:10 He cautions the Children of Israel that

“You shall not Plow with an ox [a clean animal] and a donkey [an unclean animal] together.

God is counselling them NOT to YOKE “join” an Ox and Donkey to “Plow together”. Why? This Wisdom is derived in the understanding that though both draught animals can ‘pull the Plow’ their difference when ‘joined’ is in their strength, practices, temperance and bearing. Which will inevitably generate struggles, conflict and negative complications for the pair.

Thus, for a Christian couple intending to Covenant Marriage, these boils down to Four (4) Perspective that MUST be assessed to avoid MISALIGNMENT.

• UNEQUAL STRENGTH

Ox and Donkey are among the draught animals used for centuries to do Field work and pulling heavy load. In comparison, a full-grown Ox has a compact built with heavy bone structure which gives it power and durability needed for field work. On the other hand, is the Donkey which comes in different proportions (height & size) as it has lightweight built. It is difficult to find one with heavy bone structure which is suitable for heavy work; the power source of choice for ploughing and cultivations. Thus, many found it easier to ride them or load light loads as a popular choice than as a fully draught animal. Now, because of their different proportion compared to the Ox the harness fit would be challenge in exacting pressure in to pulling the Plow, either of the animals would feel strained or a tightness. Overall, this comparison introduces already to us a merger unequally fit for “the work ahead”. For either the strong will exhaust the weaker one or the weaker will cause the strong to stumble due to lack of even weight distribution as they are mismatched therefore compelled to bear a great percentage of the burden.

How does this imagery play out in marriage?

Before man and woman JOIN as husband and wife they must know WHO they are IN-Christ. What is their IDENTITY, their gifts and callings. How are they going to serve one another without selfish interest in their prescribed roles? For various legitimate reason and different perspectives if mismatched in this capacity they are likely to fight for POWER and CONTROL therein lacking insight to their balance which creates a competitive relationship.

• UNEQUAL TEMPERAMENT

An Ox is a castrated Bull; castration inhibits testosterone and aggression, which makes the male docile and safer to work with. This docile (quiet/meek) temperament inspires confidence in others (the farmer/handler) as they are safe and gentle. Because of this acquired nature, the new temperament. They are ideal for tasks requiring close human interaction and teamwork. Thereby, SELFLESS in their service/work. On the other hand, a Donkey has a stoic nature which makes them more cautious (guarded), and highly independent (individualistic) which inspires a strong sense of SELF-PRESERVATION in them. This temperament makes them appear stubborn making it difficult or challenging to have a perspective to serve another (the farmer/ handler) or work as a team (with an ox).

How does this imagery play out in marriage?

The covenant of Marriage is based on MUTUAL COLLABORATION which requires a heart disposition that fosters CARE and CLOSENESS. This is what is known as ‘a circumcised heart’; a heart that is considerate of the other, seeks best for the other and serves the other with no self-interest. A Husband and Wife who lack this heart posture will find themselves doing things that only PROMOTE their own Self-interest eliminating the mystery of sacrifice and building a gap through ‘needs-based, business transaction’ between two separate individuals.

• UNEQUAL PRACTICES

Ox and Donkey though both Herbivorous animals (plant-eaters) there is a difference in what exactly is their ‘dietary consumption’. Starting with the Ox which is a ruminant ‘chews its cud’. It is a very selective animal with the kind of plants, grass and grains it eats; it does not just consume any plants it sees just because it is hungry. Thereby qualified as PURE (clean) animal according to the diet analogy, which was given to Children of Israel by God [Leviticus 11, Deuteronomy 14:4-6]. Unlike the Donkey which is a non-ruminant ‘does not chew its cud’ it is non-selective with the vegetation and shrubs it consumes. It known to eat ANY pesky vegetation including poisonous weeds/field nettles which are not suitable for domesticated animals. Because of these factors (dietary and non-ruminant), the donkey’s mouth can easily get a putrid toxic breath. Scientifically, it has been proven that the Donkey’s bad breath is a lethal chemical to the Ox hence it’s a poor choice to pair them for work and the practice is discouraged. When yoked together, the bad breath is likely to irritate the Ox causing it to pull to the side to try and avoid the smell. This will influence the Plow to twist and turn out of its intended straight line, compelling the farmer to constantly correct the Plow. Eventually wasting farmer’s energy and time on what was to be done in specific time. Nonetheless, the Donkey is an IMPURE (unclean) animal according to the diet analogy, which was given to Children of Israel by God [Leviticus 11, Deuteronomy 14:4-6].

How does this imagery play out in marriage?

An Ox being a Pure animal represents the MATURE BELIEVER, they possess a Kingdom mindset and walks in righteousness (Character and Integrity), they are set apart for God’s use therefore abides in Jesus Christ. In other words, they are under the Yoke of the Jesus; the Holy Spirit. The Donkey on the other hand is an Impure animal that represents an IMMATURE BELIEVER, they lack a Kingdom mentality.. they confess Jesus Christ but do not practice His teachings (they are not doers of the Word). They succumb to their own thoughts and intentions, … holding to a form of [outward] godliness (religion), although they have denied its power [for their conduct nullifies their claim of faith]. They are under the yoke of flesh and highly influenced by the World and the mammon. Eventually their Character and Integrity will be put to test, and the Marital Strife/Spirit of contention will stem from a place of Lack of MORALITY TRUST, MUTUAL RESPECT AND HONOR. In the end this will bring disunity.

• UNEQUAL AMBITIONS

Ox and Donkey are unequal based on robustness, temperament, and expectations. An Ox is slow but steady and resolute in doing the ‘work’. While Donkeys are skittish, stubborn and weaker in strength and consuming anything herbivores. They do not make a great pair in working together with other draught animals for they nature easily makes them uncooperative.

How does this imagery play out in marriage?

Two believers in the Covenant of Marriage with NO SHARED UNDERSTANDING and INSIGHT on who they are; are IN ALL PROPABILITY each headed to DIFFERENT DIRECTION IN LIFE. The marriage will either break (divorce), not produce its maximum “work”, the mandate in the Garden of Eden, or will be spiritually dead but “sticking it out” in the physical.

It is with noting that an Ox symbolizes service and strength in the heavenly realm*

Given this understanding, these descriptions guide us to grasp SPIRITUAL ALIGNMENT; Two Ox paired are likely to achieve the Farmers goal on the field work because they are well balanced resulting to Mutual cooperation and evenly distribution of force and weight; works in ONE ACCORD. Unlike the pairing an Ox and Donkey which leads to complications and chaos such as uneven force and weight distribution, imbalance in harnessing, lack of equal strength, and pulling to wrong direction.  

God designed marriage to THRIVE (flourish and succeed) on SPIRITUAL ALIGNMENT. Therefore, Husband and Wife must WALK by the Spirit with intentionality and precise discipline [Galatians 5]. Afterwards, be FERVENT in the Spirit with effectual calling as God’s elect/remnant [Romans 12:10-12]. Now, Spiritual alignment is an ongoing practice perfected by the reliance upon the Holy Spirit, and Kingdom Marriage is a Covenant to be Steward IN-Christ. It is therefore ONLY those that are SPIRIT LED that can be SYNCHRONIZED to become ONE FLESH and work with ONE ACCORD. The Holy Spirit through Wisdom and not legalism (even the donkey, a draught animal can do the work-1 Corinthians 10:23) UNIFIES the HUSBAND AND WIFE by bringing greater understanding and clarity with insight and foresight on how to lead a life with integrity and Godly understanding by practicing the key principles with Power that steward the Marriage INTO God’s Purpose. Hence, it is written in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up. Again, if two lie down together, then they keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

For this reason, in courtship the question SHOULD BE are you BOTH Aligned to do the Will of God in the Marriage?